SLAP SHOTS

     Happy Pucks & Bucs Day! Hop in the Cordoba, baby, we're going bowling; it's a great day for hockey! Our Pittsburgh Penguins take their 3-1 series lead to DC tonight to finish off.....oops, make that faceoff against the Washington Capitals. These are your keys for tonight's game. 1)Pardon Mrs. Black-N-Gold for putting the cart before the horse but she's sick of the Capitals and they're whining. Wouldn't it be a cherry on top our Black-N-Gold Sundae to go down to DC and eliminate the crybaby Capitals in front of their own fans? Take the crowd and the Caps out of the game as quickly as possible. Score early, score often, score BIG Goals, Goals, Goals! 2)The Pens held the vaunted Capitals power play in check in Wednesday night's 3-2 win. The Caps were 0 for 4 with the man-advantage. Now, of course, this can't last forever. And the best way to keep the Caps from scoring on the power play is to stay the heck out of the penalty box. That's not likely to happen either. Kill 'em all! 3)Mrs. Black-N-Gold just loves how the Pens have battled their way through this series, especially considering all the adversity they've faced. What better way to reward themselves then to end this series tonight and get an extended break until the next series? You've got them on the ropes. Stay on their case and in their face. Keep on PUCKN! Let's Go Pens!!!!

THE BULLPEN

     Happy Bucs & Pucks Day! The crack of the bat, the thrill of the hit! Our Pittsburgh Pirates continue their series with the Milwuakee Brewers tonight at PNC Park. These are your keys for tonight's game. 1)Our Pittsburgh Pirates go for 2 in a row following last night's 4-0 blanking of the Brewers. The Bucs will start RH Gerrit Cole, 1-3, 3.50 ERA. He'll face Milwaukee RH Matt Garza, 1-0, 3.38 ERA. All aboard the Cole Train for a win! 2)In last night's win, 1B Josh Bell knocked his 5th home run of the season. That ties him with 3B Josh Harrison and CF Andrew McCutchen for the team lead. Chicks dig the long ball! 3)The Pirates continue to have one of the worst offenses in the NL. They're among the bottom-feeders in most offensive categories. Mrs. Black-N-Gold doesn't know about you but she finds the Bucs lack of offense quite offensive. Give us more Hit, Run, & Score! Let's Go Bucs!!!!!

THE BULLPEN

     Baseball fever, catch it! Our Pittsburgh Pirates return home to the friendly confines of PNC Park tonight to start a 3-game series with the Milwaukee Brewers. These are your keys for tonight's game. 1)Lower the Jolly Roger again. The Pirates dropped the finale to the Cincy series yesterday, 4-2, losing 3 of 4 to the Reds. Not counting their 12-run outburst in the lone win during that series, the Bucs scored just 7 runs in 3 games. We need more, more, more Hit, Run, & Score! 2)The season is barely a month old and Mrs. Black-N-Gold is not happy with the Pittsburgh Baseball Club. They're 12-16 and 3.5 games out in the NL Central as they occupy the basement and they've managed to misplace the Jolly Roger. Right the ship and raise it! 3)Seriously, Mrs. Black-N-Gold said in her season preview that the front office didn't do enough to help this ball club and, unfortunately that is more and more apparent every game. Mrs. Black-N-Gold is not happy with the way Manager Clint Hurdle is managing the lineup, either, although he did make me look foolish the other night in the 12-3 win. I guess even a blind squirrel finds a nut occasionally. However, I must admit, Hurdle's job can't be easy what with the injuries and the horrible job GM Neal Huntington did amassing a roster. That's no excuse for the terrible play from the regulars. Hurdle needs to light a fire under these guys. Stop SUCKN and start BUCN! Let's Go Bucs!!!!!

THE BULLPEN

     Got kind of tire of packing and unpacking! Our Pittsburgh Pirates close out their series this afternoon in Cincy versus the Reds. These are your keys for today's game. 1)The bipolar Bucs were at it again last night, losing to Cincy 7-2. This time is consistently inconsistent. They're up 1 day and down the next. Mrs. Black-N-Gold needs a prescription for Prozac to watch this team. They were 0 for 7 with runners in scoring position, leaving 10 men on base. Need I say more? Hit, Run, & Score! 2)Mrs. Black-N-Gold doesn't like to single out players but LF Gregory Polanco's poor play can't be denied. Is he the only regular cleanup hitter in MLB that still doesn't have a home run after over a month of play? And he still only has 4 RBIs. What kind of cleanup hitter is that?! I know the Bucs don't have many options to bat 4th, considering the circumstances but clearly .229 average are not getting the job done. Get hot, El Coffee! 3)The NL Pitcher of the Month for April, RH Ivan Nova, 3-2, 1.50 ERA, will start for the Pirates. RH Tim Adelman, 0-1, 4.70 ERA starts for Cincy. Adelman has just the kind of stats that befuddle the Bucs. Nova deserves so much better than a 3-2 mark. He just isn't getting the run support that he should. Once again, we need to call on our prized free agent pickup from the offseason to pull the Pirates out of their funk. Be a super Nova! Let's Go Bucs!!!!!

SLAP SHOTS

     Happy Pucks & Bucs Day! Buy Sam a drink and get his dog one, too; it's a hockey night in Pittsburgh! Our Pittsburgh Penguins faceoff against the Washington Capitals tonight at PPG Paints Arena with a 2 games to 1 lead in their 2nd round playoff series. These are your keys for tonight's game. 1)By now Mrs. Black-N-Gold is sure that you've heard that Pens C Sidney Crosby is out for tonight's game with a concussion following the hit from Caps D Matt Niskanen in Monday's 3-2 overtime loss. We're also without F Conor Sheary who suffered a concussion, as well. They keep knocking us down but we keep getting back up. No way we stand for this. It's time to show these jagoffs what winners do when faced with adversity. We need to beat the crap out of the Caps. And win I say "beat" I mean win the damn game. Next man up! 2)Speaking of "next man up" it's time for C Evgeni Malkin to take control. Typically, Geno is content to sit back and do his thing while Sid is the Best Player in Hockey. But it's times like these that #71 proves why he wears the "A" on his sweater. Go, Go, Geno! 3)We don't want to go back to DC on Saturday with a 2-2 series tie. Wouldn't it be cool to go down there and take this series and rub it in their smug little faces? Fire up the Goals, Goals, Goals! Let's Go Pens!!!!

THE BULLPEN

    Happy Bucs & Pucks Day! I want a triple shot of Cincinnati juice! Our Pittsburgh Pirates carry on their series in Cincy tonight as they face the Reds. These are your keys for tonight's game. 1)The battlin' Bucs came back from a 3-0 deficit to route the Reds 12-3 last night. 3B Josh Harrison smacked his 3rd home run in 2 games in front of his family & friends in his hometown. Keep on BUCN! 2)The Pirates were an impressive 5 for 9 with runners in scoring position. There's always room for more Hit, Run, & Score! 3)Pirates RH Jameson Taillon, 2-0, 2.08 ERA will face Reds RH Rookie Davis, 0-1, 11.17 ERA. In the rookie's last start, a 9-4 loss to Milwaukee, Davis lasted just 2.2 innings, giving up 7 earned runs on 11 hits. Rock the rookie! Let's Go Bucs!!!!!

THE BULLPEN

     Baby, if you've ever wondered, wondered whatever became of me! Our Pittsburgh Pirates continue their series in Cincinnati tonight versus the Reds. These are your keys for tonight's game. 1)Following last night's disappointing 4-3 loss in 10 innings, the Pirates have dropped 2 in a row. Right the ship and raise the Jolly Roger! 2)The latest loss was marred by errors. Again. Gotta to tighten up that D. The fact that the team only registered 3 hits all night didn't help, either True, they were all home runs and chicks do dig the long ball. However, what's that saying Mrs. Black-N-Gold is always fond of repeating? Hit, Run,  & Score! 3)Once again, the Pirates made Cincy CF Billy Hamilton look like the Hall of Famer he is......at least when he plays Pittsburgh. He's batting all of .222 and he goes 2 for 5 with 3 stolen bases last night. Maybe the Bucs can sign Matt Niskanen to take this kid out. Keep him off the basepaths! Let's Go Bucs!!!!!

SLAP SHOTS

     Happy Pucks & Bucs Day! Shave my legs with a rusty razor; it's a hockey night in Pittsburgh! Our Pittsburgh Penguins return home tonight to faceoff against the Washington Capitals at PPG Paints Arena with a 2-0 series lead. These are your keys for tonight's game. 1)With Saturday night's 6-2 victory, the Pens have scored 9 goals in the 1st 2 games of this series. Crank up the Crue and the Goals, Goals, Goals! 2)Meanwhile, G Marc-Andre Fleury has been stellar, holding the President's Trophy winners to just 2 goals in each of the 1st 2 games. Flower Power! 3)Washington Coach Barry Trotz pulled Vezina Trophy-winning G Braden Holtby on Saturday night. The Pens are in the Caps heads. Now stay there. Get in his face & on his case! Let's Go Pens!!!!

THE BULLPEN

     Happy Bucs & Pucks Day! Make baseball great again! Our Pittsburgh Pirates take their show on the road to Cincy tonight to open a 4-game series versus the Reds. These are your keys for tonight's game. 1)The Pirates had an opportunity to sweep Miami in FLA yesterday, but thanks to a 10-3 thumping, that didn't materialize. Tonight, RH Gerrit Cole, 1-3, 3.60 ERA will face Cincy LH Amir Garrett, 2-2, 5.09 ERA. Cole typically does not do well against Cincy. Get the Cole Train and the Bucs on the winning track! 2)The Buccos bats did come alive for most of the Marlins series, good for 19 runs in the 3-game set. How about more Hit, Run, & Score! 3)For as bad as the Bucs have looked in the early going, they're only 2 games under .500 at 11-13 and 2.5 games out of 1st place after the 1st month of the season. It's important to start off the month of May on a good note, especially considering that Cincy swept us at home during the 1st week of the season. Raise the Jolly Roger!! Let's Go Bucs!!!!!